This was a psychedelic @EsteemedKompany dream; one in which EDS crew Tosin Adarabioyo, David Faupala, Aleix and Manu García frolicked under the spotlight of FA Cup football on national television. But a flaccid performance from Willy Caballero stained the occasion and turned what could have been a respectable loss against a strong Chelsea team into a 5-1 nightmare.
Willy jokes, eh? But there was nothing funny about the 34-year-old’s horror show. It’s impossible to describe his display without using the words f*cking and shite. Caballero has been pretty useless since he arrived at the club in a £4.4m deal from Malaga in the summer of 2014, but this took the biscuit. Providing us with his own dreadful version of the ‘Cha-Cha Slide’, Willy slid to the left every time the ball went right and slid to the right every time the ball went left. Remarkably, on this day on which Manuel claimed he was ‘forced’ to field a youthful eleven, Caballero would have been the first name on the team sheet irrespective of the circumstances. He is the ‘cup goalkeeper’, after all, and terrifyingly, he’s already been promised a place between the sticks in the cup final against Liverpool on Sunday.
Caballero wasn’t the only senior player to besmirch himself, though. Aleksandar Kolarov and Martin Demichelis were abused by the speed and movement of Pedro in the opening stages, and Fernando offered more slip than grit in the centre of midfield. If this was an audition to the incoming Pep Guardiola, it was a dismally unsuccessful one for the foursome.